BECOME A RETROBABE NOW

00

Days

00

Hours

00

Mins

00

Secs

Mercury RetroBABES:
Turn Your Messaging Around in 3 Weeks

The next Mercury Retrograde is around the corner and you have two choices:

❌ Do what you always do — panic-freeze every time you try to post, watch other (less talented) practitioners book out while you're stuck rewriting your bio AGAIN, and hope your jumbled jargon magically transforms into money-making messaging...

✅ Or join the Mercury RetroBABES — where you'll spend 3 weeks turning the retrograde into your secret weapon, crafting messaging so clear and magnetic that your soulmate clients feel it in their BONES, and finally posting content that lights up your DMs instead of collecting dust in your drafts.

AKA: While other witches stumble over their words, you’ll master your messaging, charm your dream clients, and turn ideas into EZ income.

⏳ JUMP ON THIS OFFER & LOCK IN YOUR SPOT!

Learn more

Turn Cosmic Downloads Into Cash-Making Content

Stop posting spiritual word salad — learn to translate your brilliance into messages that magnetize AND convert

Get Chart-Powered Answers To YOUR Messaging Blocks

Hot seat coaching + astrological insight = personalized guidance on why YOU freeze up (and how to fix it)

Craft Pitches So Pure, The Pitchforks Stay In The Barn

Build soul-powered messaging that magnetizes dream clients instead of repelling them — no manipulation, just magnetic truth

Mercury Retrograde doesn't stop your sales.
Unclear messaging does.
But this time, while everyone else panics... you'll profit.

☿℞💅

Mercury RetroBABES:
Turn Your Messaging Around in 3 Weeks

A virtual live 3 week Minimind for intuitive entrepreneurs who are tired of watching
less talented practitioners book out while their genius stays invisible.

What Happens for the RetroBABES in these 3 weeks:

  • Discover how YOUR unique Mercury sign thinks, speaks, and connects and how to leverage that in your messaging
  • Identify where you've been distorting your natural communication style & the Soul Lesson behind it
  • Real-time refinement of your pitch, niche language, and content
  • Understand what your dream clients are actually craving from your signature Mercury energy (aka your idea factory)
  • Get bespoke universe-powered insight into your specific messaging blocks & practical ways to bust them up
  • Learn to translate spiritual concepts of your niche into human language without losing the magic
  • The ability to show up consistently without second-guessing every word

Starting Nov 11 • Only 8 Spots • First 3 Save $222

🔮 CLAIM YOUR SPOT, RETROBABE!

Work with the Universe to make your message impossible to ignore

Mercury RetroBABES teaches you how to turn your inner messenger from meh to magnetic — so your words resonate like a spell your dream clients didn’t know they needed.

Imagine posting about your work and your ideal client doesn’t just think, “oh that’s nice.”

They think, “holy sh*t… are you in my brain?”

They screenshot your post. Send it to their group chat, & slide into your DMs within the hour.

And when you get on a call?
You’re not convincing anyone... because your messaging already did the heavy lifting. ;)

They know what you do. They know it’s for them. They’re ready to pay.

It’s not “let me explain my 17 certifications.”
It’s “where do I sign up?”

You write a sales post and it feels like relief, not resistance because you’re not manipulating, convincing, or performing.

You’re simply sharing what you’re excited about with the people who were meant to hear it.
Your messaging becomes an act of service, not a necessary evil.

You show up as your full multidimensional self — mystic, mentor, and still-allowed-to-be-messy human.
No more choosing between “too woo” or “not woo enough.”
No more code-switching between your spiritual self and your business self.

Just you — clearly articulated, cosmically expressed, and utterly impossible to replicate.

🔮 CLAIM YOUR SPOT, RETROBABE!

BEFORE Mercury RetroBABES:

❌ Your bio says "I help awakened souls step into their power and collapse to their highest timeline" and people nod politely but have no idea what you actually DO

❌ Your website says "intuitive guide" and "cosmic mentor" but visitors leave more confused than when they arrived

❌ You hesitate to market & launch during Mercury retrograde because you're afraid that something will go wonky

❌ Your offers are named things like "Soul Activation Journey" and "Quantum Alignment Experience" that sound mystical but mean nothing

❌ You know you're meant for more reach and impact but every time you try to explain your work, it comes out as spiritual word salad

❌ You're the best kept secret in your industry and you're exhausted from being invisible

AFTER Mercury RetroBABES:

✨ Your bio clearly states who you help, what transformation you provide, and how to work with you while making them curious enough to start scrolling through your back catalog of posts

✨ Your website feels like a sales page for your soul — visitors immediately know if they're your person and exactly how to say yes

✨ You USE Mercury retrograde strategically to refine and improve instead of hiding and hoping nothing breaks

✨ Your offers have names and descriptions that make people think "YES, THAT" instead of "...what does that mean?"

✨ You translate your cosmic downloads into cash-making content without losing the magic or feeling salesy

✨ You're known, clear, and magnetically attractive to the exact clients you're meant to serve

How We're Gunna Turn Your Messaging Around in Just 3 Weeks:

  • 3 Live Group Coaching Calls (1.5 hrs each)
    • We'll meet for three (3) consecutive Tuesdays from 7 - 8:30 pm EST for hot seats, chart peeks, and real-time refinement of YOUR messaging and offers. You’ll get hands-on support to refine your posts, offers, and pitch so your voice lands exactly how you intend.

  • Private 2-Hour 1:1 Messaging Intensive
    • One-on-one guidance to make your unique voice shine and ensure your offers are crystal-clear and irresistible. We’ll deep-dive into your messaging so your audience feels your energy and expertise instantly.

  • 3 Weeks of Private Telegram Coven Access
    • Daily check-ins, accountability, and cosmic support from me and your fellow RetroBABES. No one gets left behind — we’re refining, realigning, and manifesting together.

  • Full Access to Arc 1: Activate Your Earthly Impact Training Bundle
    • Foundational audio workbooks from the Magic Mirror Marketing Method covering Launch, Value, & Connection — all designed to turn abstract astrological insight into practical, money-making action.

 Investment &
'Early Raven' Perks

 

💫 Full Investment: $666

WAITLIST PERKS:

👻 First 3 Early Ravens (Oct 30-Nov 2): $444— save $222!

✨ Remaining Early Raven Spots: $555— save $111

  

🔮 Open Enrollment (Nov 3-10): $666

  

LIMITED SPOTS:
Only Space for 
8 Mercury RetroBABES 

⏳ DON'T WAIT! LOCK IN YOUR SPOT NOW

This Program Is
For You If:

✨ You struggle to explain your work without sounding vague, "woo-woo," or like you need a decoder ring

💬 You dread posting because every attempt feels either cringe or completely disconnected from your actual impact

🔮 You have SO much knowledge but you're not sure what your audience actually wants to hear

💎 You want to magnetize dream clients effortlessly — no chasing, no convincing, no forcing

🌙 You're ready to stop treating Mercury Rx like a villain and start using it strategically

This Program Is NOT For You If:

❌ You're looking for a quick fix or magic pill (this requires showing up and doing the work)

❌ You want to stay hidden and hope the universe sends clients telepathically

❌ You're not willing to look at where your messaging is actually falling short

❌ You're into blaming the planets for what's happening in your life rather than using your insight to level up your life

 By the time Mercury stations direct, you’ll have formed a completely new relationship with Mercury Retrogrades — instead of scrambling, you’ll know exactly how to turn cosmic chaos into messaging magic.

"Wait... Isn't Mercury Retrograde When Everything Goes Wrong?"

Let's clear this up: Mercury Retrograde isn't a cosmic curse. It's a cosmic EDITOR.

The "don't launch during retrograde" rule is about not launching something NEW and UNTESTED.

But refining, revisiting, and realigning what's already there? That's literally what Mercury Retrograde was designed for.

Here's Why This Is Actually Perfect Timing:

  • The retrograde reveals your blindspots. The miscommunications silently repelling clients become obvious. You're not creating new problems — you're finally seeing what to fix.
  • You're already revisiting your content anyway. Your drafts folder. Your old posts. That bio you've rewritten 47 times. Mercury Rx just gives you cosmic permission to finish the job instead of starting over.
  • It forces clarity over spiritual word salad. The retrograde demands specificity. No more hiding behind flowery metaphors. Your people need to understand you, and this transit won't let you coast on vibes alone.
  • You're building while everyone else is hiding. By the time Mercury goes direct on Nov 30, you won't be starting from scratch — you'll launch with crystal-clear messaging while everyone else is still recovering.
  • Your dream clients are in retrograde fog too. They're re-evaluating and looking back at practitioners they've been following. When your messaging is CLEAR during everyone else's confusion? You become the lighthouse.

The Real Question Is:

How much longer are you willing to stay the best-kept secret in your industry?

How many more months will you watch less talented practitioners book out while your genius collects dust?

How many more Mercury retrogrades will you spend rewriting your bio instead of reinvesting your MILLIONS?

The people who need your magic are searching for you right now... But they can't find you through the fog of unclear messaging.

Let's fix that. In 3 weeks.

👑 BECOME A MERCURY RETROBABE & MAKE THE RETROGRADE FEAR YOU

00

DAYS

00

HOURS

00

MINS

00

SECS

☿℞💅

Mercury RetroBABES: Turn Your Messaging Around in 3 Weeks

Enrollment Timeline

  • 📅 Waitlist Opens: NOW (you're here!)
  • 🎃 Enrollment Opens: October 30 with Samhain Special pricing
  • 👻 First 3 Early Ravens: Get $444 investment (save $222) — Oct 30-Nov 2 only
  • ✨ Remaining Waitlist: Get $555 investment (save $111)
  • 🔮 Open Enrollment: Nov 3-10 at full $666 investment
  • 🚀 First Coven Call: Tuesday, Nov 11 @ 7pm - 8:30pm EST via Zoom, then rinse & repeat over the following 2 weeks!

About your host

Video Poster Image

I'm Laurel — quantum astrologer, Starborn CEO architect, and Mercury Rx Native who helps spiritually gifted souls turn their cosmic blueprints into profitable brands.

I've spent 13+ years studying the language of the stars, and I've built a business teaching hidden gem healers how to stop underpricing, over-delivering, and hiding their magic.

Mercury RetroBABES is what I wish existed when I was struggling to find my voice — a container that honors the cosmic revision process while giving you the practical tools to actually IMPLEMENT.

I don't just teach astrology. I activate agency. And I'm here to help you break the limits of what you thought was possible when you partner with the universe inside you.